Soiled sheets
You won't believe this. No, really. I've been struggling with it myself all day today (and all night last night).
For those of you who don't know, I just got back from vacation in Denver. I was staying with my roommate's brother Lumpy, just hanging out, drinking, and hiking. Anyway, the day before I left home I spent all day cleaning up the house and doing laundry because there is nothing worse than coming home to a shithole after a week long party. Ya know what I mean? So my plane came in last night at midnight and Howie (my roommate) picked me up at the airport. After staying on a futon on the floor at Lumpy's, a week's worth of drinking, and 8 hours traveling, I was really looking forward to climbing into my nice, fresh, clean bed. I have a killer Tempur-pedic mattress that I often miss while I'm out of town. When we got home, I stumbled to my room with my duffel, got undressed, and pulled the sheets back to hit the sack. I had noticed when I walked in that my bed looked a bit tussled, but I really didn't give it much thought until the sheets came down. Looking into the linens, I was horrified, pissed, and disappointed all at the same time. Cum stains. Three or four of them right in the middle of my bed. What the fuck man. They weren't mine, I had just changed the sheets the day before I left and I didn't wax it or get laid that night. Then it hit me. Fucking Howie. Mother fucker. He'd come in, banged his girlfriend, nutted all over my bed, cleaned his junk with the towel hanging in my bathroom, and then... FUCK'N A... just pulled the comforter up and put the pillows back like nothing happened. I get sooo pissed just thinking about it. He could have thrown the sheets in the washer and no harm done. But NOOOOOOOO... he figured I wouldn't notice and that I could just sleep in his nutt for a week!!! What the fuck kind of friend is that?! Needless to say, I was up all night doing laundry, totally pissed off. Of course, when I told him in the morning how FUCKED UP I thought it was, he denied it. "Oh no dude, we didn't get in your bed. Just in the shower," he said. Oh really? I guess some homeless guy came in, nutted on my sheets, and then decided that the 50" plasma TV hanging in the living room was just too heavy to carry down to the pawn shop. You fucker. Then he offered to wash my sheets. Too late dude. It's not the fact that he was humping in my bed that is so irritating. That's cool dude. You got a piece of shit bed that falls to the floor when your doing the nasty, no problem. Go ahead, use my bed, BUT NUTT ON YOUR OWN GODDAMNED SHEETS OR AT LEAST WASH MINE WHEN YOUR DONE!!! That's really, really fucked up.
Moral of the story: Check your sheets everytime you get in them, because you never know what kind of sick fucker left a nutt in there for you.
I'm pissed.
For those of you who don't know, I just got back from vacation in Denver. I was staying with my roommate's brother Lumpy, just hanging out, drinking, and hiking. Anyway, the day before I left home I spent all day cleaning up the house and doing laundry because there is nothing worse than coming home to a shithole after a week long party. Ya know what I mean? So my plane came in last night at midnight and Howie (my roommate) picked me up at the airport. After staying on a futon on the floor at Lumpy's, a week's worth of drinking, and 8 hours traveling, I was really looking forward to climbing into my nice, fresh, clean bed. I have a killer Tempur-pedic mattress that I often miss while I'm out of town. When we got home, I stumbled to my room with my duffel, got undressed, and pulled the sheets back to hit the sack. I had noticed when I walked in that my bed looked a bit tussled, but I really didn't give it much thought until the sheets came down. Looking into the linens, I was horrified, pissed, and disappointed all at the same time. Cum stains. Three or four of them right in the middle of my bed. What the fuck man. They weren't mine, I had just changed the sheets the day before I left and I didn't wax it or get laid that night. Then it hit me. Fucking Howie. Mother fucker. He'd come in, banged his girlfriend, nutted all over my bed, cleaned his junk with the towel hanging in my bathroom, and then... FUCK'N A... just pulled the comforter up and put the pillows back like nothing happened. I get sooo pissed just thinking about it. He could have thrown the sheets in the washer and no harm done. But NOOOOOOOO... he figured I wouldn't notice and that I could just sleep in his nutt for a week!!! What the fuck kind of friend is that?! Needless to say, I was up all night doing laundry, totally pissed off. Of course, when I told him in the morning how FUCKED UP I thought it was, he denied it. "Oh no dude, we didn't get in your bed. Just in the shower," he said. Oh really? I guess some homeless guy came in, nutted on my sheets, and then decided that the 50" plasma TV hanging in the living room was just too heavy to carry down to the pawn shop. You fucker. Then he offered to wash my sheets. Too late dude. It's not the fact that he was humping in my bed that is so irritating. That's cool dude. You got a piece of shit bed that falls to the floor when your doing the nasty, no problem. Go ahead, use my bed, BUT NUTT ON YOUR OWN GODDAMNED SHEETS OR AT LEAST WASH MINE WHEN YOUR DONE!!! That's really, really fucked up.
Moral of the story: Check your sheets everytime you get in them, because you never know what kind of sick fucker left a nutt in there for you.
I'm pissed.
Laid down by AT - 6:06 PM
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