Yeah, this really happened.
Some of you may not know this, but I was engaged when I was 25 to a girl named C (short for Cheryl, to continue our quest for total anonymity). She was a nurse and had just recently moved in with her folks while she was in the process of looking for a new apartment. I used to spend quite a bit of time over at the house. Her parents would let me stay over because it was about an hour drive back to where I was living, which was nice.
Anyway, during a recent canoe trip I had inadvertently got a nasty dose of giardia (the first of three times), unbeknownst to me, and the symptoms were just starting to show up. Now, if any of you have ever had giardia, you can understand when I say that it is the most miserable sickness I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing. It's a bacterial parasite that gave me diarrhea so bad, that literally, I had to live on the toilet for 2 weeks. My ass was so sore, it hurt to blink. So as I said before, the symptoms were just beginning. I was, unfortunately, at work when my intestines started feeling like they were in a hydraulic press, and I had no idea what it was at the time. I thought maybe I got a hold of a bad break truck burrito, so I kept working as much as I could between trips to the Port-O-Let.
Well, when I left work I headed straight to C's place. I was really feeling like hell, running a fever, sick to my stomach, headache, my ass was sore, etc. When I walked in the door, C said, "How was your day?" At that point, I began telling her of my numerous trips to the shitter and my ass chafage. She suggested a bath, and that sounded like a great idea, so I made my way to the bathroom with C in tow. She said, "Give me your clothes and I'll put them in the washer." So she stood in the doorway as I turned on the bath water and began to get undressed. First, I sat on the toilet, pulled off my socks, and handed them to C. Then, off comes the shirt. Next, I stood up took off my belt, and yanked my pants and underwear down at the same time. Right about the time my boxer briefs hit my ankles, I was bent over and got a good look inside my drawers. I was horrified to see a good quarter inch thick, 2 inch wide, 4 inch long skid mark in the shape of my ass crack just lying in my underpants. Not really all that big of a deal, except when I looked up, C was staring bug eyed, mouth open in disbelief at the flat turd in my unmentionables. After a second or two, C began laughing hysterically and said, "Well no wonder you were chafed... you've been carrying around a pound and a half of shit in your pants!!!" Thank God she was a nurse and got a good laugh out of it.
Moral of the story: When you've got the squirts, always, and I mean always, get undressed alone.
All I can say is, you were warned when you got here that there was a good chance things would end up in the toilet.
Peace.
Anyway, during a recent canoe trip I had inadvertently got a nasty dose of giardia (the first of three times), unbeknownst to me, and the symptoms were just starting to show up. Now, if any of you have ever had giardia, you can understand when I say that it is the most miserable sickness I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing. It's a bacterial parasite that gave me diarrhea so bad, that literally, I had to live on the toilet for 2 weeks. My ass was so sore, it hurt to blink. So as I said before, the symptoms were just beginning. I was, unfortunately, at work when my intestines started feeling like they were in a hydraulic press, and I had no idea what it was at the time. I thought maybe I got a hold of a bad break truck burrito, so I kept working as much as I could between trips to the Port-O-Let.
Well, when I left work I headed straight to C's place. I was really feeling like hell, running a fever, sick to my stomach, headache, my ass was sore, etc. When I walked in the door, C said, "How was your day?" At that point, I began telling her of my numerous trips to the shitter and my ass chafage. She suggested a bath, and that sounded like a great idea, so I made my way to the bathroom with C in tow. She said, "Give me your clothes and I'll put them in the washer." So she stood in the doorway as I turned on the bath water and began to get undressed. First, I sat on the toilet, pulled off my socks, and handed them to C. Then, off comes the shirt. Next, I stood up took off my belt, and yanked my pants and underwear down at the same time. Right about the time my boxer briefs hit my ankles, I was bent over and got a good look inside my drawers. I was horrified to see a good quarter inch thick, 2 inch wide, 4 inch long skid mark in the shape of my ass crack just lying in my underpants. Not really all that big of a deal, except when I looked up, C was staring bug eyed, mouth open in disbelief at the flat turd in my unmentionables. After a second or two, C began laughing hysterically and said, "Well no wonder you were chafed... you've been carrying around a pound and a half of shit in your pants!!!" Thank God she was a nurse and got a good laugh out of it.
Moral of the story: When you've got the squirts, always, and I mean always, get undressed alone.
All I can say is, you were warned when you got here that there was a good chance things would end up in the toilet.
Peace.
Laid down by AT - 9:33 PM
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